4.

What is not a big deal to many is, in fact, a big deal to me. More than a big deal, a huge deal. Something completely dramatic that will change my life, and not exactly for good. Even if it doesn't goes the way I expected (the worst way anyone can ever expect) it still means something to me. My feelings were hurt, and someone must repay me for that, and no one ever does.
I think that this world is specificly designed just to destroy me. That's how selfish I am. But I can't help it, I'm just who I am, and whenever people tell me I have, need, must change, I tell them "Should I change just because your reality is better than mine?" Oh wait. Who the hell ever asked for your damn opinion? I'm just upset, I don't need a test on how wrong I am about something because I always know when I am. Indeed, I'm hardly ever right. But that's not the point...
Anyway. I need to destroy the word "party" and its meaning if I want to make this relationship keep going. He's so damn important to me, I don't want to lose him, really, but I can't continue this without the guarantee that he won't be going away every single weekend to party with those stupid and fake friends he has... If only he knew them in their real form, not pretending to be cool and angels when they once told me how wrong my music was, or how tall my heels were, or how small and wrong my size was. I don't even know why he likes them when they hurted me so much that I can trust no one anymore!
They are the devil in disguise, and I hope he will notice it someday... But if he doesn't, I did, and my choice is to stay away from that crap type of people. I signed that long time ago.