How am I suposse to live with this insecurity? I feel like everyone around me is constantly betraying me. Why do I have to live like this? Why do they compel me to sacrifice myself everytime for themselves? Am I suposse to change who I am, just because they don't want me the way I truly am?
They accepted me like this. Is just like a fucking contract. When you accept someone as it is, is a non-written rule that says "I will never try to change you". But this is absolutely trying to, not just change me, but destroy myself.
I want to be living far away from here, I want to come back to my place, my home, my people, my status, my husband... EVERYTHING. I don't get the point of any of this.
Yes, I truly believe there's someone waiting for me as I write this, and that he's probably watching everything I do at every single moment of the day, assuming he didn't come with me to this hell. If he did so, and he can't find himself, I'd be much better without him, because he might become someone he's not and I wont be able to forgive any action caused by a human being. We are suposse to be royals, we can't make mistakes, and if he's the one, he's taking too many risks. He absolutely doesn't care about me, or he would wait one day to go out with me and his damn friends. I don't get it. I really don't get it.
I'm truly mad at him right now, and I feel sad and... I don't even know what else to write that could possibly define the destructive feelings I'm having right now. My stomach hurts, I feel like I can't breath...
I need to take everything away, even if that means going back to that time when I didn't fall in love with you because... We hadn't met yet.
They accepted me like this. Is just like a fucking contract. When you accept someone as it is, is a non-written rule that says "I will never try to change you". But this is absolutely trying to, not just change me, but destroy myself.
I want to be living far away from here, I want to come back to my place, my home, my people, my status, my husband... EVERYTHING. I don't get the point of any of this.
Yes, I truly believe there's someone waiting for me as I write this, and that he's probably watching everything I do at every single moment of the day, assuming he didn't come with me to this hell. If he did so, and he can't find himself, I'd be much better without him, because he might become someone he's not and I wont be able to forgive any action caused by a human being. We are suposse to be royals, we can't make mistakes, and if he's the one, he's taking too many risks. He absolutely doesn't care about me, or he would wait one day to go out with me and his damn friends. I don't get it. I really don't get it.
I'm truly mad at him right now, and I feel sad and... I don't even know what else to write that could possibly define the destructive feelings I'm having right now. My stomach hurts, I feel like I can't breath...
I need to take everything away, even if that means going back to that time when I didn't fall in love with you because... We hadn't met yet.
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